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Tucson arizona lesbian. Re: Not missed, more like "wished" w4m
I honestly don't think you are who I immediately thought of upon reading that post. And even if you are, I don't know if that post was about me or someone else, because by now it may well be that someone else has captured your heart. All I know is that post has been on my mind since I saw it and then saw it disappear. I guess I have a couple things to say about it.
Summing up the post, there's a girl out there whom you're absolutely in love with, and she may or may not know. Since you seem unquestioning of her feelings for you, it's obvious that she cares for you very much as well, and she at least knows there's a mutual connection. She has some idea of your feelings for her, I guess, but maybe not the entirety or intensity that you portrayed in your post. However, you're with another woman, whom you're staying with hot ladies wants hot sex very naughty dates out of guilt and a sense of duty, even though you're unhappy with her, and you are so "devoid of self-worth" that you don't have the courage to set things right for yourself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I got from it. Now I don't know any of these people, including you. Your girlfriend might be a bitch, or not, and same for your other girl. You may be an ass, or not. I don't know. But no matter the content of your character, EVERYONE is being wronged in this situation, and it's your doing.
I'm pretty sure the girl you're with doesn't want to be ed "the one who makes you feel like shit about yourself," and doesn't want you staying with her out of guilt. She also doesn't want to be in a relationship that's doomed to fail. You are already saying that you know you're in stagnant waters with her, it's not going anywhere, so why are you still there? MOVE! Perpetuating is only going to make it harder and make it hurt worse in the end. Ending the relationship with her is the best solution, for her sake and yours.
As someone who's quite often been "the girl who got away" because of situations like these, I can almost guarantee the girl you're pining for is hurt and confused that you're with someone else. It sounds like you're trying to convey to her that your hand is forced, that you have no choice, to make her understand that it's not about her but about you and the "godawful situation you're in." But women have heard plenty about men who are already in marriages/relationships, and and they know how it usually goes for "the other woman". She probably wants to believe you, but the cold hard facts are in front of her: You are with someone who is NOT HER, and you are STAYING with this girl who, again, is NOT HER. And you DO have a choice, no one's holding a gun to your head. You're just too scared to make it. You are bringing her self-worth down to your level by trying to keep her in the sidelines while you carry out this mission of yours. But if some of the other responses to your post are any indication, men aren't blind. If you think she's beautiful and wonderful, then most likely there are other men who see the same thing, and one will snatch her up and not make her feel like she's second best to anyone. If she's as wonderful as you say, then she deserves that.
Now, if you didn't already know you were wronging yourself, then I can't even imagine why you made the post to begin with. I may sound like I've been scolding you, but I feel for you, I do. I don't know why you hate yourself so much, I don't know what the pressing matters are that keep you with a woman who makes you unhappy and allow you to let go of a woman who does. It must be hard. The romantic in me says to dump the girl you're with and go get the woman you love before she leaves you, but... I feel like you need to be alone for a bit, not be with anyone until you have YOUR shit straight. They say that to love anyone, you must first love yourself, and you clearly do not. Your self-esteem issue is a problem, and your relationships will continue to be problematic until you figure that out. And if you are so crazy about this other girl and want to be with her at some point, then you don't want to repeat the same mistakes with her, do you? No. So get your ducks in a row, kid.
There. Now I feel better. This was probably unnecessarily long for someone I don't know anything about, but your situation really spoke to me, and I couldn't help but say something. I hope things go well for you and that you find happiness.