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After reading ad after ad on Craig's List about individuals seeking to find a relationship offering meaning, contentment, or an opportunity to be spanked by a dominant transgender nun, I have decided that all I really want right now is a pretend relationship.
The benefits of a pretend relationship lie in being able to communicate (via email only) with another individual about things that are not actually occurring in one's life. It's the incredible chance to be completely dishonest with another individual who wants nothing more than a beautiful pretend connection with another soul.
We needn't share photos, real names, or accurate personal data. I will never ask you to me, meet me, or send me your bank sexy older ladies ready nsa seeking men account routing number to help a deposed Nigerian dictator who will pay you back in millions. I just want to have a deep, intense relationship that has no actual roots in reality.
To be my pretend girlfriend, you must be exceedingly intelligent, articulate, and edgy. Your sense of humor must be phenomenal -- I would never pretend date someone who was not incredibly funny. You should be quite beautiful with striking features, (though I will never really know if it's true).
I am (in truth, just this once) x
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