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1) Talk to her outside of the bedroom. Ask her what YOU can do to HELP HER. Ask her what SHE wants as far as romance or sex is concerned. Ask her what she's feeling. Is she Manitowish waters WI nude dating afraid? Is she feeling unattractive? Is she thinking you don't want her anymore? And so forth. This is a conversation that absolutely HAS TO HAPPEN. Assure her that you her no matter what. But express your concern for HER. Ask why she feels the need to be closed off from intimacy with you. don't judge her answers. Just listen to them. don't talk about your need for sex yet. Just get her to talk about things, even if she's afraid of what you'll say. If this is a medical condition, she needs to go to the doctor for HER. She owes it to herself (and if you have any -/grandchildren) to make sure that there's nothing mediy wrong with her. That's where you start. You start with her and forget what you want for the time being. 2) Try counseling. Counseling is a safe, neutral place where you can discuss thorny issues and deal with any emotional fallout. Therapists/counselors are great because they set boundaries for communication. You can deal with unfinished emotional business and not have it lingering at home. 3) As communication progresses and she's feeling confident and safe, ask her what SHE wants to do about your sex life. What does SHE want? Does she not want to have sex? Why? If not, she consent to you finding sexual gratification with someone? If not, why? 4) If she won't work on the relationship and refuses to open the marriage for sexual purposes only, then you need to really think about how much you're willing to give up. Are you willing to close off an entire part of your life because she's unwilling to do her part in the marriage and at least try to work on things? There are two people in a marriage. If you've tried everything to help her, talk to her and deal with things mediy is it worth staying with someone who won't even meet you halfway? Of course people don't want to get divorced because of sex or lack thereof. But a lack of sex is a symptom of a bigger issue between the two of you. If she won't even make the attempt, you should consider your options. And divorce is one of them, regardless of whether or not you want to entertain it. Good luck. You two have your work cut out for you.
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