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It is difficult to regain trust. Beautiful couple want love find single women I think it can be done but it requires a completely different level of relating to one another some people just can't do it. I think you have to decide if the 10 years you've spent is "worth" working towards another 10 years of trust building. Talk to her honestly about how you are feeling. There is nothing wrong with telling her you don't trust her she'd likely agree you have every reason to be suspicious. Tell her you want to trust her but that it be a slow one step forward two steps back process. Seek counseling for yourself and for the two of you as a couple. It sure is a better investment than paying a bunch of attorneys money you'll never get the benefit from. Even if counseling doesn't work as a "couple" it help you personally to "deal with" this current situation of yours so that you don't end up bringing baggage into another relationship should you meet Ms. Right #2 in the future

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Congratulations E m4w You just got married today. I wasn't invited. I wasn't even allowed to buy you a present. I understand why and I don't feel any particular emotion about it. But I wish I could have been there to see you happy. I wish I could have been a bigger part of your life. But you allowed me to let things go, even if it meant pushing me out of your life forever. We'll never be friends in the way I define friendship ever again, even though I can finally be happy that you're happy without me. But I think that you still consider me a friend. So as a gift to the universe and to you, I want to congratulate you on your wedding day.
I know that I have mythologized our past. I'm doing it now. If I wasn't, the day would pass by without comment as I went on with my life. My fantasy is that you gracefully walk up the aisle to your husband with such beauty that it makes my heart ache. Even as the strength of the dream fades, I want to be haunted by your memory. But I can't and I won't let you haunt me. I'll take whatever positive I can from us. Perhaps you know yourself and perhaps you don't. But I never knew you because I loved you too much. I lost track of the person in the mad rush to love you as much as I could. I was too young and inexperienced. As usual, I was also overconfident where I was weakest. I hope that never happens with your husband.
I don't believe in The One. But you were one of the ones I could have lived out my days with. I still hope for a partner, but now I admit other ways of living my life. And I am at peace. But we have left holes in each other's lives and we both know it. There is an absence in each of us that no one else can really fill. And that's love and that's life. I try often to learn something about dealing with other people from what happened with us, but you gave me no explanations that didn't turn out to be misleading or incorrect. So the only thing I've ever learned is that I rely too much on others. And that insight has been valuable and shocking. That struggle will never go away, but I hope that I never again give someone as much space in my life as you had.
But I don't want to dwell on the pain. I just want the last of it purged. And finally, after all this time, the writing seems to do that.
And now for a gift. Long ago I gave you the key to my house. I know it sat in your car for years. You've always had far too many keys and even if you didn't have so many on your keychain, you might have forgotten it anyways. But I haven't forgotten it. In my angrier moments I've thought about asking for it back. In my happier moments, I've thought about reminding you that it will always hot ladies wants hot sex horny older open my door for you. But now I'm glad you have it. Even if you've lost it or forgotten it, the symbol stands. Even if you never read this, which you won't, the key will always be yours. You and yours, whoever they may be, will always have the key to my home. The door remains open to you always, in your time of need. If you want a friend again, I remain, even if you change into someone I don't recognize. I knew you once and would know you again. I owe you that much at least. I would have liked to tell you this, but today is not my day. Your life is no longer part of mine. So I will simply exude this fact and let it find its way to you.
Congratulations. I hope that Paris unlocks itself for you. I hope you finally understand what you want and get as much of it as you can.
With love,
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