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for JMC w4m It's been a long time. Over 3 years now since we last spoke or even looked at each other. You've been on my mind alot lately. Yesterday would have been our 7th wedding anniversary.
And this year we would've celebrated , we were officially, legally over. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without saying what I need to say.
I am so sorry that I hurt you. You deserved so much better than me. I always told you that. I loved you in my own way, and now that it's over, I realize that I never really gave us a chance. I was foolish and so immature about love. I didn't realize that love had many different ways of being shown. You have so much good inside of you, but I always chose to see the worst. I'm so sorry.
I still think of you and the times we shared. I wonder what could have been if I hadn't been so stubborn. I wonder how you are and if you're finally happy. Are you being treated the way you deserve?
I miss so many things about you. Your sense of humor, your smile and your laugh. I even miss your "MASH" "Sanford and Son" reruns! I can't even watch that channel now.
I miss your hugs and the way we used to spontaneously dance when we heard a beautiful song. Your eyes when you looked at me with so much love and hope... Our last New Year together, when you kissed me so sweetly and it felt like forever would be real. I miss our Halloweens and Christmases together when we would cuddle up on the sofa and plan our future.
I miss our babies that weren't meant to be. But they know we loved them so much, didn't they?
So many memories, good and bad, happy and sad. I just wish I had tried harder. I know you were The One.
If we could've made it work and both gave what we needed to, we'd still be together. And I know we would still be happy even today.
Those rough spots killed us, didn't they?
If I could take back everything I did to you, I would. I'm sorry I gave up so easily. I wish you would've fought for me harder.
I wish you all the happiness, love and joy in the world.
I wish you luck with your new life and hope that you won't ever forget me. Our faults didn't define our relationship and I hope you think that as well.
I will always hold you in my heart and I'm grateful for the wonderful things you gave to me. I learned so much from you... from us.
I am happy again these days, and I wouldn't trade what I have for the world. But still some days, I wonder and I dream about what might have been.
It saddens me that I'll never talk to you again, but I know that it's the way it's meant to be.
It doesn't stop me from looking for you everywhere I go. And it doesn't stop me from dreaming of you...
I love you, J. You'll always be my Hunny Bunny and I'll always be your Doodle.
I'll miss you forever.
~S

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..and then she bailed on me So I just got the that my date is cancelling on me for the night.
Great. Looking forward to a night out and now this. Anyone else out there need some last minute plans for the night? Even just meeting up for a drink and to complain about being stood up, hell why not.
36, divorced, non smoker (seeking same)

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